The Art of Looking Innocent

I walked into the kitchen to grab my water bottle and found this.

The Art of Looking Innocent

Third. Time. This. Week. The overturned trash can, the banana peels artfully scattered across my clean floor, the yogurt container licked so clean it could go back in the cabinet. And there in the middle of it all sits Biscuit, looking like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth.

Look at that face.

The evidence on his nose says otherwise

That is the face of a dog who has never done anything wrong in his entire life. That is the face of a dog who is personally offended that I would even suggest he was involved in this chaos. The piece of evidence literally stuck to his nose? Circumstantial at best.

The full crime scene

This is what I sent Marcus at work with the caption ‘YOUR DOG.’ He replied with three crying-laughing emojis and ‘But look how cute he is!’ I can’t even argue. Sixty-seven dollars at Petco for a ‘dog-proof’ trash can and this golden menace treats it like a puzzle box. The man at the store said it was foolproof. Clearly he never met our fool.

I cleaned it up. Again. Biscuit supervised from his bed, tail wagging, probably already planning tomorrow’s heist. At least he’s consistent. Can’t fault a guy for having hobbies.