Bug Mom Chronicles: A Study in Maternal Bravery

So apparently we’re a bug family now.

Bug Mom Chronicles: A Study in Maternal Bravery

Theo burst into the kitchen this afternoon with his latest ‘archaeological discovery’ - a beetle the size of a small aircraft carrier that he found under the deck. His eyes were literally sparkling as he held up that jar like he’d discovered the cure for homework.

I’m standing there trying to channel my inner nature mom, nodding and making encouraging sounds while my brain is screaming ‘NOPE NOPE NOPE.’

The specimen in question

The thing has LEGS, people. Multiple legs. Moving legs. I counted at least six before I had to look away. But Theo is so proud, explaining the beetle’s ‘cool pincher things’ and how it’s probably a ‘very important species’ that needs our protection.

Strategic retreat in progress

So there I am, crouched down pretending to be fascinated while maintaining what I consider a very reasonable safety distance. Marcus is behind the camera trying not to laugh at my obvious terror. This is what motherhood looks like - smiling through your worst nightmares because your kid thinks they’ve found treasure.

Motherhood requires courage

The beetle has been relocated to the back porch where it can live its best life away from my line of sight. Theo checks on it every hour. I check that the jar lid is still secure every time I walk past.