Bedroom Hostile Takeover: A Biscuit Story

You know that moment when you realize you’re not actually the alpha in your own home?

Bedroom Hostile Takeover: A Biscuit Story

That’s Marcus this morning, standing there like a man who’s just discovered his dog has better real estate instincts than he does.

Biscuit has perfected the art of the bedroom takeover.

The king of the castle

Look at that face. That’s not the face of a dog who’s going to move. That’s the face of a dog who knows exactly what he’s doing and is deeply satisfied with his life choices.

I watched Marcus try every negotiation tactic in the book.

Negotiations have failed

Gentle coaxing, pointing to available spaces, even offering treats. Biscuit’s response? A deeper stretch and what I swear was a satisfied sigh.

And the winner is…

In the end, Marcus admitted defeat and perched on my side of the bed like a guest in his own bedroom.

This is our life now. We have a 72-pound golden retriever who runs the household and we’re all just living in his world. And honestly? I’m not even mad about it.