The Big Sister Performance Review

Sophie has appointed herself as Theo’s official protector, which means I now have a four-year-old drill sergeant living in my house. Yesterday she brought him her favorite stuffed elephant, placed it carefully next to his bouncy seat, and announced “Baby Theo needs this for when he gets scared.” Never mind that he’s three months old and mostly just stares at ceiling fans.

The Big Sister Performance Review

The best part? She’s started shushing EVERYONE who comes near him. The mailman got a very stern finger-to-the-lips gesture through the window. My mother was lectured about “inside voices” in a voice that could wake the dead. And Marcus? Poor Marcus got a five-minute speech about how “babies need quiet time to grow their brains” while Theo was lying there wide awake, happily gurgling at the kitchen light.

I keep telling myself this protective phase is sweet. And it is. Even if my four-year-old is currently running this house like a very small, very dramatic hall monitor.