Resolution Revolution (Or: Why Marcus's Goals Are Already Doomed)

New Year, new us! Well, sort of. We decided to make this resolution thing a family affair this year, which seemed like a great idea until Marcus suggested his main goal should be “finally organizing the garage.” The same garage that’s been a disaster zone since we moved in seven years ago.

Resolution Revolution (Or: Why Marcus’s Goals Are Already Doomed)

Theo’s approaching this with the intensity of a paleontologist discovering a new species. His list includes mastering every dinosaur fact ever documented and building a time machine to visit the Mesozoic Era. Realistic? Debatable. Adorable? Absolutely.

Theo’s resolution: ‘Learn about every dinosaur that ever existed.’ Ambitious.

Meanwhile, Sophie’s actually being thoughtful about her goals - learning guitar, improving her grades, and “taking better photos than Mom’s thirst traps.” The audacity!

Marcus’s list started strong with “exercise more” and “eat healthier,” but quickly devolved into “only start three new hobbies instead of six” and “admit when the sourdough starter is dead instead of pretending it’s just sleeping.”

Sophie’s actually taking this seriously. Unlike her father’s annual ‘I’ll totally finish woodworking this time.’

At least he’s self-aware about his track record. I’m keeping my resolutions simple: continue being the hot mom who holds this chaos together, and maybe finally teach my family how to close cabinet doors. Baby steps.