The Great Couch Excavation of December 2024

It started innocently enough. Elena decided the living room needed a deep clean before Christmas company arrives, which meant - you guessed it - moving the couch cushions for the first time since… well, let’s not talk about when.

The Great Couch Excavation of December 2024

What we found could stock a small convenience store. Theo immediately claimed his missing T-Rex (‘I KNEW he was in there!’), while Sophie held up fossilized Goldfish crackers with the kind of horror usually reserved for zombie movies. But the real plot twist came when Marcus reached into the depths of the couch frame.

Plot twist

His wedding ring. The one he’s been wearing a backup of for three months. The one he swore he lost at the gym. The gym that he’s been to exactly twice since September. We’re still not talking about that part.

Annual deep clean results

Biscuit found something too

Biscuit, naturally, thought this was the best treasure hunt ever invented and kept trying to ‘help’ by shoving his entire head into cushion crevices. Eventually we called it a victory - couch reassembled, ring recovered, and only minor emotional damage from discovering exactly how long those Goldfish had been fermenting in there. The things we do for Christmas cleaning.