My Toddler Is Either An Artist Or A Vandal

So I’m in the kitchen making lunch when I hear that particular kind of silence that means Sophie is either sleeping or destroying something. Since naps are a myth in this house, I went with option two and started the search.

Found her in the living room with a red crayon, adding finishing touches to what can only be described as her first gallery installation. On my white wall.

My Toddler Is Either An Artist Or A Vandal

She’d drawn this perfect angry circle face - and I swear it looked exactly like the expression I was making while discovering her masterpiece. The kid has observational skills.

I was all set to launch into my “we don’t draw on walls” speech when I actually looked at it. Like, really looked. It wasn’t just scribbles - there was intention there. Composition. A very clear emotional statement about how she feels when Mama finds her artwork. Either my two-year-old is the next Basquiat or she’s a tiny sociopath with excellent artistic timing.

Marcus walked in right as I was trying to decide between pride and panic. He took one look at the wall, looked at Sophie clutching her crayon like a tiny rebel, and started laughing. “Well,” he said, “at least we know where she gets the dramatic flair from.” I’m choosing to take that as a compliment.