Senior Year Realness

Okay so it’s 2:47 AM and I’m sitting in my kitchen surrounded by what feels like every nursing textbook ever written and I’m having what you might call a MOMENT.

Senior Year Realness

Like, this is it. This is my last year. In less than 12 months I’m going to be a Real Adult with a Real Job and Real Responsibilities and honestly??? I’m kind of freaking out.

I keep looking at all these NCLEX prep books

My kitchen table situation right now

and thinking about how I used to complain about anatomy tests and now I’m like “remember when the biggest decision I had to make was which dining hall to eat at?” Now I’m applying for actual nursing positions and trying to figure out where I want to live after graduation and whether I can afford to live alone or if I need roommates forever and UGH.

This is fine. Everything is fine.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited!! I’ve wanted to be a nurse since I was like 15 and I genuinely love what I’m learning. But there’s something terrifying about being on the edge of everything changing, you know? Like right now I’m still Elena the nursing student who lives in an apartment with three other girls and survives on ramen and coffee. But in a year I’ll be Elena the RN who has to know what she’s doing when someone’s life depends on it.

Meet my new boyfriend: Fundamentals of Nursing

Anyway, back to studying. These pharmacology flashcards aren’t going to memorize themselves, and I have clinical at 7 AM. Send coffee. And prayers. Mostly coffee.